Saturday, July 17, 2010

From the Archives...

25 people surveyed say that their dentist has never discussed chewing gum options


"Not once," claims one respondent, who wishes to remain anonymous. "I mean, isn't that part of his job?" Mr. Alex Williams then said that he is thinking of hiring an attorney, just to "cover his bases."

In a related story, two out of five surveyed believe that their routine dental scrapings often cross the thin-as-floss line between preventative treatment and tooth molestation.

"More than six or seven scrapes is tantamount to masturbation if you ask me," stated Mrs. Diana Prince, via a voice-disguising microphone. "I mean, it's just sick the way these perverts defile my most important orifice---and then charge me for their pleasure! The lousy bastards!"

See Bite down hard pages 37-8 for full story

posted by Ogden Whipstitch
Staff Reporter


Monday, March 24, 2003

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