This Just In: New "Therapist Matthew Doll" announced, designed to help both Barbie and Ken cope with absently smooth genitalia
"It really is about time," stated designer Monroe Westy, during a telephone interview. "Just think of all the baggage that these two must have, You know? They've got the dream house, they've got the dream car, they have 0% body fat, and yet, what's the point if they can't...you know?"
When questioned whether or not the original dolls themselves might simply be redisgned for more effective fornication, Mr. Westy denied any plans to do so, and revealed that his company will instead be announcing soon the arrival of another new doll to the popular plastic toy line: "Dr. Sherwood Clamp, Pharmacist."
"He'll give them their little blue pills and then they'll take the dream boat out on the lake and have some fun," said Mr. Westy, as the interview concluded. "These kids will be fine, you'll see."
There are presently no plans to help Skipper deal with any emotional issues that she may currently have, as Therapist Matthew's schedule is booked solid for the time being.
posted by Prudence Saddlepinch
Staff Reporter
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
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